My thatha

This snap is the only item apart from my educational certificates I brought from my home in B’lore as a newly wed here .THE ONLY ONE .

What can I say when I feel like a plant which has lost its roots and now is just dead.My thatha passed away .My ammachi passed a few years back .Then I felt like I should stop living even tho’ I had then 2 yr old .My grandparents were the the ost wonderful things to happen to me .they were my identity , my address my entire existence I defined by them ..I was so & so’s grandaughter .At some point it did become my daughters mom but what I liked best was this the one being their grandchild.

My mom gives me plenty of reason for eaving me with my grandparents when I was just 2 weeks old and being with my dad .My grandparents brought me up , like a princess a middle class princess …they even bought a cow for me because I had to drink milk from the same cow ..mind you thats the first &last cow they owned .My grandma a teacher & granpa a goverment officer .

A princess because they showered me with the love the most precious commodity in the entire world.The first question I would ask as a child when my thatha used to visit me in b’lore as soon as he stepped inside the home (I must have been 6-7)was thatha when will you be leaving .
Apparently this hurt him a lot and after many years he asked me why I was asking him this ,I told him then it was becuase the thought of him going away after his mini vacay was so devastating for I had to prepare myself in advance.He laughed relieved

Once I mentioned to him that I liked young world a supplement in The Hindu newspaper and guess what every few mos I would get a courier with all the young world supplements!!!At my home we used to buy Indian express and it never even occured to me to get The Hindu newspaper on sundays

He loved us so much I often wondered did thatha love his grandkids more or did ammachi ?Every term vacation every xmas every summer was spent there .I knew I was lucky even then to have them both .It used to bug my affectionate dad everytime my thatha used to come because the love I used to shower on him was nothing like the way showed my dad .My grandpa+ grandma was/is my all.

Now what am I supposed to do , it feels like doomsday has finally arrived but I still have to help my daughter with her homework …I feel like its finally over the best generation of all is finally being wiped off .I feel dead inside , I dont think I can ecover excep maybe live thru’ life can never ever be completely happy yes I will always be sad any happy emotion tinged with sadness .
Good bye thatha & ammachi ,to say that I will miss you would be like saying its….I dont what to say can’t think of any comparison.

https://knitnkanmani.wordpress.com/2010/03/09/grandparents/

Now you are both together

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One response to “My thatha

  1. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Someone so dear will be missed by you terribly and I hope that as each day passes, the fond, happy memories you have of him will replace the void and sadness.

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